Dear Doctor Freud

Saw this in my Facebook feed yesterday and just couldn’t leave well enough alone. Help yourself to my ramblings and know that everything said below is intended as an honest if lighthearted treatment of an oft-neglected social issue.

dressing modestly

On the subject of the modesty of women’s clothing, I, as a man, am often simply dismissed as a biased party. Which is entirely fair, since I am.

However, and somehow you just knew there was going to be a ‘however,’ I feel I have found a way to justify the positions of men everywhere who are enticed by the sight of a scantily clad female.

Men, and please be honest, we like having sex, don’t we? Of course we do; we should. It’s a biological and psychological drive and repressing those can get nasty in a hurry. Besides which, it’s good for you: like any other organs in the body, sex organs stay healthier longer if they are used on a regular basis. So, men, get off once in a while. It’s for your own good. Women, we appreciate your assistance with this process, either in person or in absentia. (In other words: Yay! Porn!)

I am somewhat, and reasonably, dubious of the idea that a provocative woman can cause seismic activity, (although if the old adage about a butterfly’s wing flap causing tsunamis holds up, I’m sure rocking my couch could set off the Richter scale somewhere). And I would argue that even the most sexually active and intrinsically alluring woman in the world could not corrupt a man’s morality; she simply unleashes his thinly veiled immorality. I would also suggest that morals which restrict one’s basic psycho- and biological impulses ought to be revised for the health of the general population, but that’s an argument for another day.

Having spent this much time discussing the benefits sexual freedom gives the male half of the world, I think it important to touch on the pros and cons afforded the female population. Unfortunately, I have, for genetic reasons, no personal frame of reference in that area. So, ladies, please chime in and let us know what works and what doesn’t.  Men are not mind readers, (we never have been, we never will be), and if you want the most out of the experience we’re going to at least need a hint once in a while.

In short, what I suppose I’m arguing for here is honesty and fact. We all have our sexual proclivities, whatever they may be, and I encourage you to 1) take a moment to figure out for sure what works for you, and 2) pursue a partner, (or partners, I don’t judge), who will fulfill your desires. The only “rules” I would advocate are these: keep it consensual and do it where no one who doesn’t want to see it has to see it. And, please, when you hear people spouting off this stuff about immorality and societal corruption, (or earthquakes), just leave them alone. Those of us who know how to enjoy our bodies responsibly and respectfully will continue to do so and leave the rest to their misery. So be honest with yourselves and with each other, and don’t be afraid to laugh about it: sex is supposed to be fun.

If you made it this far, I thank you for your diligence. My rants often make more sense to me than to anyone else. I meant what I said above. I invite comments on this topic; part of the problem behind the problem is the lack of frank discussion on the subject.

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